Iban Marriage

A young slice may embrace at the age of twenty-deuce, if he is the only child in the family. If he has brothers or sisters, he is likely to marry when he grows older. A girl usu every(prenominal)y marries at the age of eighteen. At these ages young men and women mainly know how to support themselves. If a young man wants to marry he may tell his parents, so that they may choose the daughter of one of their close relatives for him. If he wishes to marry a particular girl, he may tell them so, so that they may think about it in reservation a nett decision.If they agree to their sons choice, they will send word regarding their intention to the girls parents. If the sons request is acceptable to the parents of the girl, then the latter may fix a day for nanya bini, when they ignore establish formally the rules they will follow at the wedding of their children. A day or two prior to nanya bini, the young mans parents will avouch their relatives about the coming wedding of their so n to the girl he loves.They also request that three men and three women who are very tight related to them join them in collision and discussing the coming matrimony with the girls parents on the nanya bini day. The nanya bini meeting between parents of the future bride and the ostler may take place either during the day or at night. If it is held during the day, the young mans parents and relatives will come early to the girls room. On their comer the men are asked to take a seat on the mats which have been spread for this purpose along the girls familys upper gallery, while the women are invited to take a seat in the family room.At about 10 a. m. , later the visitors have been entertained with drinks, the girls father calls all the throng of the longhouse and his relatives who have arrived from other villages to gather at his lower gallery in order to hear his preaching with his visitors. After the quite a little have taken their seats the parents of the bride and the sta bleman inform their friends arid relatives that they have concur that their son and their daughter should be married if the ostlers parents agree to the softenment of adat nikah (marriage price) demanded by the brides parents as follows 1.A brides wealth of $100 to $300, depending upon the family background of the bride-to-be, and lower than $100 if she is of low birth. 2. A sigi regrettably muda, $4. 00, to sigi rusa, $8. 00, of bunga pinang (ceremonial wedding fee), and sigi jabir, $1. 00, to sigi panding, $2. 00 again, if the bride is of low birth. 3. One medium size brass gun (bedil) for batang pinang and one bendai gong for tandan pinang if the bride and the bridegroom are of distinguished families. People of common background would not demand the batang and tandan pinang presents from the bridegrooms family.If the bridegrooms parents agree to pay the marriage price, then a genealogist (tukang tusut) will recite the brides and the bridegrooms family trees to see whether the marriage is incestuous or not. Incestuous means in this connection that the twain is kin of different generations. If their union is incestuous to this sense then the bridal parents should inform the Penghulu (district chief) that the coming marriage ceremony of their children will be celebrated with besapat ka ai or bekalih di darat depending on the category of the incest as discussed before (cf, pp. 29-30).At the end of the discussion of nanya bini, the grooms parents leave a silver girdle (lampit) with the bride as a deposit to bind their promise. A day is then set for the melah pinang or marriage ceremony which essential be held within three months. If it is an incestuous marriage, it must(prenominal) be held as soon as practicable later on the besapat ka ai or bekalih di darat ceremonies in order to avoid kudi (disaster). A few days after this, the grooms parents will gather the people of their longhouse to inform them that their sons marriage has been hold upon in discu ssion with the future brides parents.The grooms father also tells them of the day concur upon for the wedding festival. From this time onwards the grooms family starts to make cakes and accumulates the derian fees. The marriage festival (melah pinang) is held in the brides house. About one week before the Melah Pinang festival is held, the grooms parents again call all the people in their longhouse to meet at their gallery as they are to send the belanja (expenses) to the brides parents. At this meeting each family in the longhouse presents whatever money its members have agreed to con-tribute to finance the feast.After the grooms parents have sent their belanja for the Melah Pinang feast, the girls parents will begin to pound rice, brew jars of tuak wine, and buy the inevitable bulls, pigs and drinks for the occasion. Four to five days before the ceremony, the girls parents call for a meeting of people on their house gallery. At this meeting, the girls father enquires from the he ads of each family whether they have finished making preparations for the ceremony. If all preparations have been made, then the brides father will inform the people of how many attached longhouses he intends to invite to the feast.The people of other families in the longhouse will naturally agree to this and one man is sent to invite the guests upriver while another man is sent downriver. The two men inform the guests to come to the wedding festival early that day so that their reception can be mightily performed. By this point the agreement to marry is considered binding on both parties, and compensation must be paid if either wishes to break the agreement. 1. If a young man makes a promise to discuss his marriage with a girls parents and fails to do so according to his promise, he is fined sigi jabir, $1. 0, and sigi panding, $2. 00, for the cost of pinang sirih atrophied by the parents of the girl. If he refuses to pay the fine, the case is brought to the court of the Penghul u for further hearing. 2. If a bridegroom fails to marry his bride after the melah pinang day has been fixed, through no fault of the later, the former is fined sigi panding, $2. 00, and sigi alas, $4. 00, respectively, the later for the cost of wasted pinang sirih. If the bridegroom refuses to pay the fine, the case is brought to the Penghulus court for further judgment.